[IC]

[hardlyboy]

[an email is being sent to the following people: moondropkick, notmakingout, ifudontsucceed, get_hothothot, loltruth]

[First, I must extend my apologies for my recent behavior; though not fully under the control of Camp's influence, I still let my emotions get the better of me, and I am truly regretful for any pain or inconvenience I've caused you. Second, I apologize for being unable to deliver this to you in person, as I am presently indisposed. There are some things I need to discuss with some of you, and if there is anything I can do to express my most sincere apologies for what I've caused you, please don't hesitate to let me know. And I do wish to speak with all of you, individually. Thank you.

--Shirogane Naoto]

((IC fallout from this/this. For the people listed in the email only. backdated to after the numbers event))

Comments

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Well, alright. I just don't think ya need ta be contrite or anythin'.

[hardlyboy]

[there's a long pause]

In your case, I think I do need to be.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

What for? Are you doin' okay, Naoto? What exactly does 'indisposed' mean?

[hardlyboy]

It means I'm sick.

What I meant is, I don't think manipulating your feelings for me is something I can so easily forgive.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Well, fortunately, you're not the one doin' the forgivin', and I say it's not your fault and it's fine. So there.

Ya got sick after all of that? That's the part I'm more worried about.

[hardlyboy]

I wasn't in full control of myself, but I was also not completely out of control. I should have been able to maintain myself better.

It's not pneumonia, if that's what you're thinking. It's simply a cold, and I don't want to spread it to others.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Should have by what standard? I'm really glad I didn't end up takin' one of those numbers, I can tell ya that. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't've managed myself half so well as you, and that would've been... bad. So. I understand your concern and all, but it's not your fault, and ya shouldn't beat yerself up about it.

Bein' sick at all is bad enough.

[hardlyboy]

I still don't feel comfortable knowing I took advantage of you.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Well, what can I do ta help ya feel more comfortable again?

[hardlyboy]

Nothing.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

[pause]

Are you sure? I don't want you to be upset.

[hardlyboy]

I'm not upset.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

You are though. You're upset that you weren't more in control. Even though we all know what this place does, and you're the only one who expects perfection from yourself.

[hardlyboy]

[long delay]

It's because not everything I said was false.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

What do you mean by that exactly? I know you weren't lying the whole time or anything, but I think I can tell when you were saying something you otherwise wouldn't.

[hardlyboy]

The sentiment was, at the least, not a thing of Camp's doing.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

[pause]

Which... sentiment?

[hardlyboy]

That I don't mind it as much as I may say otherwise. It's endearing, perhaps-- I can't think of a better word for it, but it's something I expect of you, and something I've grown used to.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, that's certainly not something I really expected, but I don't see how it's a problem either.

[hardlyboy]

It's embarrassing, for one.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess it would be. Sorry.

[hardlyboy]

Please, don't be.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

If you get to be sorry then I get to be. It's not really something you should have to get used to.

[hardlyboy]

Maybe it is. Maybe I am too closed off.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

[long pause]

Even if so. There's opening up to people and then there's... I mean, you're obviously a really good friend of mine, Naoto. I don't think you're closed off to me. But that's different than getting comfortable with me having other feelings for you. I don't... want you to feel like that's something you have to do.