[IC]

[hardlyboy]

[an email is being sent to the following people: moondropkick, notmakingout, ifudontsucceed, get_hothothot, loltruth]

[First, I must extend my apologies for my recent behavior; though not fully under the control of Camp's influence, I still let my emotions get the better of me, and I am truly regretful for any pain or inconvenience I've caused you. Second, I apologize for being unable to deliver this to you in person, as I am presently indisposed. There are some things I need to discuss with some of you, and if there is anything I can do to express my most sincere apologies for what I've caused you, please don't hesitate to let me know. And I do wish to speak with all of you, individually. Thank you.

--Shirogane Naoto]

((IC fallout from this/this. For the people listed in the email only. backdated to after the numbers event))

Comments

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

[pause]

Are you sure? I don't want you to be upset.

[hardlyboy]

I'm not upset.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

You are though. You're upset that you weren't more in control. Even though we all know what this place does, and you're the only one who expects perfection from yourself.

[hardlyboy]

[long delay]

It's because not everything I said was false.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

What do you mean by that exactly? I know you weren't lying the whole time or anything, but I think I can tell when you were saying something you otherwise wouldn't.

[hardlyboy]

The sentiment was, at the least, not a thing of Camp's doing.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

[pause]

Which... sentiment?

[hardlyboy]

That I don't mind it as much as I may say otherwise. It's endearing, perhaps-- I can't think of a better word for it, but it's something I expect of you, and something I've grown used to.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, that's certainly not something I really expected, but I don't see how it's a problem either.

[hardlyboy]

It's embarrassing, for one.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess it would be. Sorry.

[hardlyboy]

Please, don't be.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

If you get to be sorry then I get to be. It's not really something you should have to get used to.

[hardlyboy]

Maybe it is. Maybe I am too closed off.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

[long pause]

Even if so. There's opening up to people and then there's... I mean, you're obviously a really good friend of mine, Naoto. I don't think you're closed off to me. But that's different than getting comfortable with me having other feelings for you. I don't... want you to feel like that's something you have to do.

[hardlyboy]

I don't feel obligated to; merely that I feel that I need to fix some things about me, emotionally.

[pause, then another reply]

That doesn't sound quite what I mean, but it's the closest I can come up with at the moment.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

If that's what you want to do. I'm just saying I think you're doing fine.

[hardlyboy]

You say that about me quite often.

I want to own up to my feelings for Judith-san.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, you're doing a lot better at everything than I ever have at half my age, so it's true. That's why I say it.

Have you decided what you want to do, then?

[hardlyboy]

I'm going to tell her how I feel. I think I owe her that much.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

I think that's a good idea.

[hardlyboy]

I worry, though, that my feelings will only be a burden to her. I'm not going to hesitate over that, but it still concerns me. I don't ever want to become a bother for her.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

I've told ya I don't think that's going to happen, Naoto. But even so... I think you have to stop worrying and let your feelings happen, sometimes. Nothing's ever really certain.

[hardlyboy]

I know that. It doesn't stop me from feeling nervous.

[notmakingout.livejournal.com]

Heh, I don't think there's much that can stop that, sorry.